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- (00:00:01) - The New Money Paradigm
- (00:07:48) - The Old Money Way vs New Money
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Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] The New Money Dopamine TRAP why neuroscience is proving what tradition always knew. Effort, restraint and character expand pleasure, not shrink it.
[00:00:11] Yesterday, over tea, I was graced by a visit by friends celebrating their 28th wedding anniversary. We sat in my kitchen drinking tea. It was a spontaneous visit that left me feeling love, warmth and connected to the world.
[00:00:25] They were raised with the same Yankee values. I was the kind of old money wisdom that values moderation and good character over flash and excess. As we talked, we all agreed that something feels deeply wrong with modern culture. We've normalized living in excess, leaving lights on, throwing things away instead of fixing them, expecting comfort and convenience without effort.
[00:00:45] We're equally upset watching people overspend and live beyond their means, seemingly without care for the environment or the future. It struck me that we were witnessing a clash between two completely different value systems. Old money was about elegance, frugality, industry and moderation. New money is about being showy, seeking pleasure, comfort and convenience. Convenience at any cost.
[00:01:07] Perhaps our parent style of parenting, which we called neglect, was actually essential. They allowed us to solve problems ourselves. This did wonders for our self esteem.
[00:01:18] After my friends left, I thought about why this matters more than ever. I thought about our culture and how it has been decided it's wrong to judge any lifestyle choice. In trying not to shame anyone, we've stopped stopped making any judgments. The reality is we can't live without discernment. There is right and wrong. Some paths lead to flourishing, others to destruction. If you equate laws of nature to a higher power, you can't tell God what to do. There are natural laws about how humans flourish and no amount of wishful thinking or political correctness can change them.
[00:01:50] The old money virtues, elegance, character, restraint aren't just nostalgic ideals.
[00:01:55] They're how humans actually thrived by refusing to accept the natural laws of nature. That effort creates meaning, that struggle builds strength, that some choices are better than others. We're setting ourselves up for misery and a destroyed nature.
[00:02:09] New science is now confirming what tradition always intuited. The new money approach is wasteful. New energy demands destroying the environment.
[00:02:18] It's actually making people miserable. The New Money dopamine trap Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford, explains why some modern cultural trends, which I will call the new money mindset, are so destructive and why traditional norms are healthier. Any high amount of dopamine that comes to you with that effort will eventually destroy you. Something that just feels so good that all you had to do was open a package, take a pill or open a website. That is the slippery slope, as he puts it. The essential truth is this.
[00:02:51] Dopamine is not about the pursuit of pleasure. It's about the pleasure of pursuit. The new money approach, instant gratification, comfort without effort, pleasure on demand, hijacks this natural system.
[00:03:03] As Huberman explains, it doesn't just fail to make you happy, it actually damages your ability to feel pleasure from normal experiences. He defines addiction as the progressive narrowing of the things that bring you pleasure.
[00:03:17] He adds, a great life is where many things bring you pleasure. I would say the new money approach progressively narrows what can bring pleasure. And while the old money approach expands it.
[00:03:28] I remember the nine year old boy I once knew in Gstad who told us he had never been on a public airplane and went helicopter skiing with his parents every weekend. I wonder how this now 21 year old must feel. Where is his dopamine baseline? How do normal experiences feel for him now that he's been conditioned to expect such extreme stimulation and comfort?
[00:03:50] As Huberman notes about the children of the very wealthy, unless your father is like a Warren Buffet who insists that you actually work, the children of very wealthy people often destroy their lives.
[00:04:01] You know, they destroy their lives because they haven't had to work to have all the stuff and there's this huge cushion below them.
[00:04:09] When you're used to getting pleasure without effort, your brain's baseline drops. You need more and more just to feel normal. Then when you get less than you expect, which always happens, you crash below where you started.
[00:04:22] Neuroscience is telling you what old money knew all along.
[00:04:26] The old Money Alternative Meeting real needs the old money approach understood something profound.
[00:04:33] Humans have real needs and meeting them requires effort, discipline and character.
[00:04:38] There are many old world virtues that support this approach. Benjamin Franklin systematically cultivated virtues like temperance, moderation in all things.
[00:04:47] Frugality, waste nothing, Industry, lose no time, be always employed. Sincerity, use no hurtful deceit. Tranquillity, be not disturbed at trifles and chastity. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
[00:05:08] These weren't just quaint historical ideas.
[00:05:12] They were a complete system for human flourishing that anyone could practice.
[00:05:16] Abraham Maslow mapped these needs, but he missed something crucial. Each level can only be satisfied through old money virtues. Think of these five levels as a pyramid built through character rather than consumption.
[00:05:29] Level 1 physical needs. Simplicity over excess.
[00:05:33] This is the foundational foundation. Air, water, sleep, food, clothing, defecation, movement and reproduction.
[00:05:40] New money way, Longevity, hacks and surgeries energy drinks Expensive supplements Personal chefs Avoiding any physical comfort Destroying air, land and water for for pleasure and greed.
[00:05:53] Old Money way Early to bed and early to rise simple nutritious meals Regular exercise Accepting some comfort as strengthening the old money approach builds genuine vitality. The new money approach creates dependence and weakness and environmental destruction. Level 2 Security prudence over risk Real security comes from living below your means. Safety nets no violence no crime no war no environmental degradation Stable routines that support health and well being.
[00:06:23] It's about stewardship, not greed.
[00:06:25] New Money way Hiring bodyguards and security Taking out debt to feel rich Leveraging everything Investing in high risk, high fee instruments Destroying the rainforest in the name of capitalism Old Money way Living on a budget regardless of income Accepting lower returns for more security Building reserves Taking responsibility for your choices Taking care of the land Old money investing has been about buying low and selling high. Being discerning and picking companies that have fundamentally good balance sheets and cash flow. My great great grandfather was fundamentally against taking on debt to buy stocks. He saw his friends jump out of Windows in 1929 due to this kind of leveraging.
[00:07:06] Level 3 Love and belonging Commitment over convenience Real relationships require showing up, committing, being vulnerable and serving others they can't be bought or made convenient. New Money Way Transactional relationships Avoiding difficult conversations Expecting others to meet all your needs Avoiding responsibility through wealth.
[00:07:29] Old Money Way Commitment through good times and bad Having hard conversations Being a person others can depend on. My anniversary friends exemplify this. Perfectly affluent but disciplined. Secure because of their character not giving up on each other. This is where the dopamine hijacking becomes especially destructive. A client whose boyfriend couldn't achieve orgasm or emotional intimacy because of his porn addiction. Old fashioned vanilla sex just didn't stimulate him. The artificial stimulation had raised his threshold so high that real human connection couldn't compete.
[00:08:04] When we replace real intimacy with artificial substitutes, we lose our ability to connect authentically.
[00:08:10] Level 4 Self Respect Achievement and elegance over entitlement True confidence comes from competence and character. From doing hard things, solving problems and keeping your word. It can't be purchased or handed to you. You have to earn respect and reputation.
[00:08:25] New Money way Seeking constant validation Spending to impress others. Not making an effort to dress respectfully Avoiding challenges Solving your children's problems for them Expecting respect without earning it all Money way Developing skills through effort Keeping promises to yourself Dressing well as a sign of respect for others and self. Letting your kids struggle Facing difficulties with grace. External validation feels good for a moment, but it creates dependence. Self respect comes from your own actions and character. Level 5 purpose service over self.
[00:09:02] At the top is self actualization. Using your gifts to serve something bigger than yourself. This requires the old money virtue of thinking beyond immediate pleasure and oneself. This includes creativity, personal growth, moral development, pursuit of of meaning or happiness as the founding Fathers defined it. New Money Way Waiting for inspiration Focusing on personal hedonistic happiness. Avoiding sacrifice.
[00:09:26] Old money way Developing your talents through discipline.
[00:09:29] Finding ways to serve others. Accepting that meaning often requires sacrifice. Eudenomic pleasure Purpose isn't found in a moment of inspiration. It's built through years of character development and service. As a legendary swordsman, Miyamoto Musashi, said, From one thing no 10,000 things. Through hard work and dedication, you learn about universal principles, reconciling the path forward.
[00:09:54] Many people reject the old money way. After all, wasn't it old money responsible for slavery, for the subjugation of women, for a fixed mindset and belief? But we forget that it was old money that valued the democratization of education and access to medical advances, and the abolition of owning another human being.
[00:10:14] My question to you is, should we throw the baby out with the bathwater? There was a time when we sacrificed our children to the gods, when we stone women to death for adultery and circumcise them. Some unevolved cultures exist today that still have these revolting practices. And modern culture defends them, calling them indigenous.
[00:10:33] Many cultural swings overcorrect and then return. Take the French Revolution as an example. Revolutionaries sought to erase traces of monarchy and religion by renaming streets, churches, and even the calendar. The new French republican calendar replaced saints days with plants, animals and tools, and months were given seasonal names like Brumaire for fog and floral flowers. But the radical renamings didn't last. Napoleon abolished the French Republican calendar in 1805, and many streets, churches and institutions gradually returned to their old names under the Empire and later the Restoration.
[00:11:08] Interestingly, a few traces stuck as the Place de la Concorde in Paris.
[00:11:14] So perhaps it is time to go back to the old money approach. Meeting your needs through effort rather than shortcuts, benefits. You'll have more energy and feel at peace. You'll have less conflict because your relationships are built on character. You'll attract people who share your values of substance over show. You'll wake up with purpose because you're building something meaningful.
[00:11:36] Abundance is tea with married friends after 28 years together, not a helicopter ride to a mountain few can climb.
