Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: What are you doing to make sure that we're going to have a legacy? What are you doing to make sure that this money does pass on to the next several generations? Or what are we doing to make sure that, you know, you pass on the right morals and values? Have you talked to somebody about this already? If not, you probably need to. Hey, we've amassed this wealth. How do we keep it? I think a lot going on to make money. Unfortunately, everyone knows how to keep it.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: I'm Diana Earley, and I've spent most of my life learning firsthand what privilege actually costs.
The legacy control, the family expectations, the guilt of feeling trapped in a life everyone thinks you should be grateful for. If you've ever wondered why having everything still feels like something's missing, you're in the right place.
Welcome to Pressures of Privilege.
My guest today grew up in East San Jose with nothing. He fought his way to JP Morgan, then walked away to build something of his own.
He talks about money the way I talk about stewardship, like it's a calling, not just a number.
But here's what stopped the kids he's trying to save from financial ruin. Some of them grew up with everything. Some grew up with nothing.
Everything except the conversation. Today, we're talking about silence, what it costs when wealthy parents don't talk to their kids about money, and what it costs when we sleepwalk through money the same way some of us sleepwalk through life.
Tyler Osborne, welcome to the Pressures of Privilege.
[00:01:25] Speaker A: Thank you for having me. Happy to be here.
[00:01:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm so glad to have found you. I love your podcast to everybody who's listening. Tyler Osborne has a podcast called Money Master.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: Yeah, Money Master podcast. Yeah.
[00:01:39] Speaker B: It's just great information on there. Like, really practical. Like, the most recent one on subscriptions. Just unbelievable. Before we get into that, I wanted to take a us back to East San Jose where you grew up. I was curious to know, like, what. What did that look like? And what did money mean in your house growing up?
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Well, it meant a lot because we didn't have it.
And the crazy part is, as a kid, you really don't know you don't have money until our partner say, till you get into, like, your teenage years, like. Cause as a kid, I didn't really, you know, I'm not really knowing what's going on. I'm getting fed. I got a place to lay my head and go to sleep and wake up and, you know, go have fun. But I didn't really know we didn't have money until I Probably got into like high school and you know, getting ready to go to college and things like that. But I said one of the good things that my parents didn't do in front of us. They never argued about money in front of us. I think that's a big deal for a lot of parents out there. If you are in a situation which you might not have a lot, obviously behind closed doors, have the conversation, talk about it. You know, if you guys gotta have a little argument that's between you and your spouse. But my parents never did that in front of me.
I cannot remember one time in my childhood they were argued over money in front of us.
But I knew there were certain things that we couldn't do that I saw other people that were my peers that were able to do. So that was that. I kind of remember my father at one point in time he had, in the early 90s, he had a six figure job and then, you know, what they ended up doing is laid him off and hired two people at half his salary, you know, and then from there I just seen my dad do odd job after odd job after odd job until, until he passed away basically.
So that was kind of the situation in my household. So I'd seen my dad kind of go from, you know, we lived in Silicon Valley, him having a six figure job, getting, going ahead and getting that taken away from him and then from there, you know, kind of struggled and never got back up to where he was at at one point.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: That must have been hard, you know, when you were young to see.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, but see, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't know, although all that until I got older. He kind of explained it to me like as a kid I didn't, I didn't know that. I didn't know that's what, what he was going through because I still, you know, I was still able to play sports and stuff like that, but it was just more of the environment where we grew up. Probably wasn't the safest I could say. Like my little brother was shot five times. Although we didn't give up in the, we didn't grow up in the same household. That's still my little brother, one of my good friends was shot 12 times and both of them survived and lived, thank God. A cousin of mine when I was 16 got shot in the back of the head. He obviously he didn't survive. So it was a rough environment. So sports really kind of saved my life to, to say the least. I was able to go ahead and get Away from those associations. I truly believe. I don't care where you're at in life right now.
If your common association is your past, you need to go ahead and change your association. You gotta go ahead and have a common association with people who have the same type of future, not your same past. So all those people that I grew up with, I kind of just cut them off just because it wasn't a good association anymore.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: Yeah. So that whole sort of. That saying that you become the average of the five people you hang out with.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely, yeah. Absolutely.
Yeah. I thousand percent agree with that. You really do become who you associate yourself with. So those associations had to get. They had to get cut off. And thank God that I did because that was kind of my path. It would end up being the same thing.
Like I mentioned, one of my closest friends shot 12 times. He's in federal prison for the rest of his life. And we disassociated, probably around like 18, 19 years old. And I just never looked back. And, you know, he made the decisions that got him where he's at.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: So your parents were great. They didn't talk about their money issues in front of you. So even though they didn't talk about it, money was a big deal because you didn't have it.
Was it sort of like an undercurrent? Did you guys talk about it in the house at all? Or was it some. An unspoken.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: Heck, no. No, it was. They didn't teach me. Here's the thing. I don't think they could have taught me something that they didn't know themselves. Cause their parents didn't teach them about money. I think there's a lot of generations and throughout the United States of families not teaching financial education.
Right. Everyone wants money, but no one wants to understand it. Or if they do want to understand it, they're not going ahead and going towards the resources to get it.
But no, they definitely didn't talk about it. And how I kind of figured out that we weren't, you know, we didn't have money is because I remember at one point in time we had an apartment in San Jose and then they were trying to go ahead and get a house and something happened and they lost the money. I don't know how, I don't know exactly what happened. To this day. The next thing you know, we're living. My grandfather. And then from about the age of maybe nine until I was 17, we lived in my grandfather's house.
And I was actually living in the house. I. I didn't have A room. I actually was in the living room sleeping on a, sleeping on the couch. And then eventually they put like a. Yes, they put a bed in them in the living room for me. But I didn't have my own room until the last six months we lived there the last six months we lived there in the house. And my grandpa ended up selling the house and he moved to Oakdale, California, which is like the central, Central Valley area in California. He ended up moving out there and then from there me and my parents ended up moving in with my uncle in a two bedroom apartment. And again, I didn't have my own room. I was sleeping on the couch at 17 years old or 16, going on to 17 years old, something like that. And that was how that was. And then eventually my uncle ended up moving and then we ended up getting an apartment. And that was the like one of the first times I actually had my own room when I was 17 years old.
So from the longest time I'd either be sleeping on a couch or I'd share, I'd share a bunk bed with, with one of my brothers.
But that was, that was kind of how I grew up as far as that. And, and just imagine, you know, being 16, 17 years old, you're sleeping in, you know, I played sports, stuff like that. So like on a weekend I'd like, I'd love to sleep in if I could. One, I couldn't sleep in because I have to get up and go help my father clean tennis courts for rich people. To be honest with you. That's what we did. That's how he made his living. We cleaned tennis courts for people in all across the Bay Area, in Los Gatos and Mountain View and Palo Alto. So we'd drive to these rich people's homes and clean their tennis courts. And that's kind of how we made help, you know, made a living or whatnot.
So that kind of taught me, you know, hard work and ethic early on. And then kind of from there we also went to was the University of Santa Clara and clean their tennis courts as well. So I was, that was my Saturday mornings when I went to sleep in. I had to go get up and clean tennis courts with my father on the, on Saturday mornings and things like that. And then, and if I did want to sleep in, you know, I'm in the living room. So everyone's, you know, either cooking breakfast or make. I just can't, you know, I, I gotta be up cause everyone else is a bill man of the time. Someone's in there making coffee at 4 or 5 in the morning, whatever it may be. I'm like, all right, well, I can't sleep through. I can't sleep through all this. Well, that was. That was my childhood. I was in. Shoot. I. On top of that, where I lived was a bad area, but I didn't go to school in that area. That was. That was another good thing my parents did do. Although I lived in a bad area, I didn't go to school where I live. I. I went a little further from it, which technically was better, but it wasn't really that good, to be completely honest with you. Yeah, it wasn't really that good.
[00:09:11] Speaker B: But it was better than the one in the neighborhood, correct?
[00:09:13] Speaker A: It was better than the one in the neighborhood, for sure.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: But it still wasn't that good. You know what I mean? So that's kind of like the one of the neighborhoods down here, the one of the squad was just kind of like, right here. So it's just look just a little bit better, but not much. Yeah, so, I mean, I've been riding public transportation since I was, like, 11 years old by myself.
[00:09:31] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Right across.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: You're probably really, really good at making your bed too. Because, you know, if your bed's in the living room, you gotta, like, make your bed because it's like, you know, they always hear, like, Navy SEALs say, like, the. The one thing you should do first thing in the morning is make your bed.
[00:09:44] Speaker A: And I do that every morning. Like, that's the. That's my very. I'm not like, that's. I. I absolutely do that every morning. Make my bed. It's the first thing I do.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: So you're confirming that. So maybe this, like, living in the living room was actually a good thing.
[00:09:56] Speaker A: I mean, it shaped who I am. You know what I mean? Because.
Because the funny thing is, like, now as an adult, I can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, whenever I want. Just like that doesn't matter how much noise is going on. It doesn't matter anything. Like, that's like my superpower. I can go to sleep in, like, 0.07 seconds. Whenever I'm ready, like, I hit the pillow, I'm out. Like, just because I'm so used to having noise and chaos be around. I was growing up as a kid that it doesn't. For me, it doesn't bother me anymore. So I think if I can. If I go to sleep in complete silence, I think that's awkward.
Yeah. I have to have, like, some type of something going on just because that's how it was for me growing up.
[00:10:34] Speaker B: Well, what an amazing story. So what was the sport that you were doing?
[00:10:37] Speaker A: I play football. So football.
Football really is the sport that saved my life. So.
Funny thing is that I had played football starting off when I was probably, like, four years old, like, flag football, things like that. And then eventually played tack when I was, like, five or six.
And then I stopped playing from, like.
Like the seventh to, like, ninth grade. I stopped playing just because I was. I didn't. We had won a game, and, like, the dude made us run after we won the game. I was like, no. Like, this is stupid. So kind of killed the love for the love of it for me. So I just started playing basketball. And it wasn't until I got to my freshman year in high school, we were at our homecoming game, and I was with my girlfriend at the time, who was actually now my wife. We're watching these. I'm watching these dudes play, and they're the football team. They're just horrible. I was like, these guys suck. And she was like, you couldn't do no better. I said, huh? So you've never seen me play football before? What do you mean? She's like, you're not. You're not a football player. You're a basketball player. I was like, like, I mean, I just choose to play basketball because it's fun to me, but I was like, I can play football. She's like, yeah, right. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna go play next year. That was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me, because she challenged me, and I'm like, I'm super competitive.
[00:11:46] Speaker B: You rebel.
[00:11:47] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I was like, how dare you tell me what I can't do. So then I went out to play football that. That my sophomore year, and in three games, I had, like, 10 touchdowns. And then they were trying to move you up to varsity, but in California, you had to at least be 15 years old to play varsity.
So then by the time I. So I. The first three games, I scored 10 touchdowns, and the fourth game, I probably scored, like, two more touchdowns. I probably had, like, 12 in, like, four games or something like that.
And after the fourth game, I turned 15, and I just got moved straight up to varsity instantly. So I had. I only played, like, four games on jv, and then I had a few more touchdowns or so as a sophomore on varsity. And that's kind of how it all started. And. And then that's kind of how I fell back in love with football. I Was like, oh, I'm actually better at this than I am at basketball.
And it all kind of worked out from there.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: So how did you get from football in College to J.P. morgan?
[00:12:44] Speaker A: When I was in school, I wanted to be a marriage counselor. So that's kind of the first thing I wanted to be a marriage counselor. Because. Because when I was in high school, you know, I'd been with the same girl for several years and now we're married and four kids, all that stuff. Cool.
But I'd always been helping people, like with their relationships. They'd ask me questions, oh, this is cool. So I probably want to be a marriage counselor. And then I. And then I got married and decided, no, I want to be a marriage counselor. So I was like, you know what, I gotta figure my own marriage out before I start trying to help other people's. I was like, yeah, no, I don't want to do that. And I was like, okay, what's the number one reason people are splitting up? And I found that the only reason for divorce was finances. So I said, okay, if this is number reason people are splitting up is because of money, I still want to help marriages.
I should probably go ahead and work in this field. I didn't know too much about finances at the time. Other than that I didn't have much growing up. And I just was wanting one night. I was praying.
I'm a man of faith. I'm a firm believer in Jesus Christ. That's just me. So I was praying and the Lord just kind of told me, hey, apply for JP Morgan. I was like, apply for JP Morgan.
All right. So I got up the next day and I went onto their website. I just applied. And while I was, you know, doing the application, there was like this, the Stinguist math test. It was like an algebra test. And I'm like, why is. It's like a little legit algebra test. And I'm like, okay. So I'm starting taking a test. I get frustrated. At that time, my sister in law was also a banker at like a local credit union. Astro. I was like, did you, did you take a math test when you applied for? She was like, heck no. So I got so frustrated, I stopped in the middle of it, took my wife, went to go watch a movie. I got back, it's probably like 11:30 at night. I was about to go to sleep and the kind of Lord kind of just, you know, impressed on my heart, go finish that application. It's like, all right. So I got up and went to go finish the application. By the time I'm done, it's like 1:30 in the morning, Saturday morning.
And I was like, okay, whatever happens, happens. I get a call that Tuesday.
Just two days later, I get a call, or three days later, I guess I get a call, and it's from a lady named Jeannie Cox. And she was the recruiter at the time for JPMorgan. Shout out Jeannie, if you're still, you know, hopefully doing well in life.
And she was like, hey, we got your application. You did very well on the math test. Really? I was so shocked. I was like, really? Did I? And she's like, yeah, you did extremely well in the math portion. And the crazy thing is, I've always kind of been good in math. Like, even when I did my placement test to get into college, I never had to take a math class in college other than statistics. That's only one. One classic there. I had to do anything. So I was like, oh, cool. That's what's up. So I was only kind of good with numbers. Anyways. She was like, yeah, you did really good on the math test. We want to set you up on an interview. I was like, do you? All right, awesome. So they set me up on an interview at a location in Mountain View, California. So I went into that location probably like, two days later. So that was a Tuesday. She called me. I ended up going to an interview, like, on that Thursday. I walk in the interview, me with the branch manager. We have a great conversation. He likes me. I'm like, okay, great. And he's like, hey, can you come back maybe like an hour and a half? I want you to meet with our district manager. I was like, okay, cool. I got you. So I ended up coming back, like, you know, maybe an hour or so later, and me with the district manager. We're having a conversation, and this guy, he. He didn't like me at all, Like. And he didn't like me at all.
[00:15:45] Speaker B: How did you know?
[00:15:46] Speaker A: Oh, because he was. This is how I knew. He was talking about how unambitious I was because I didn't have a job when I was training for the NFL.
What? Yeah, he was just. That's kind of his thing. It's like, you're not that ambitious. You're. You didn't. You weren't working while you. While you trained for the NFL. It was just. And. And I was just like, oh, okay.
So I left out of there, like, yeah, I didn't get that job. So I ended up leaving. And that was. That was like. That Thursday. So I want to say that next Monday, Genie called me.
Hey, Tyler, how'd it go? I was like, I don't think I got that. That guy didn't like me too much. And I kind of explained the situation. She's like, you know what? I'm gonna set you up with a whole another interview out of that guy's jurisdiction and out of his district and kind of go from there. It's like, okay, cool. So they set me up on another interview in Fremont, California. This time at this hiring event. There was, like, maybe three candidates there or whatever. Anyways, I remember walking to this room. It's this long table, and there's two dudes in there. I can't remember what. What one gentleman's name was, but that gentleman's name was Eric. Eric J. Powell. I'll never forget him. Awesome guy. And for the next hour and a half, all we did is talk football. It's all we did. He didn't mention anything about sales or finances or. He was just impressed that I played college football and that, you know, I made it to, you know, the combine and stuff like that. So that's all we talked about for, like, the next hour and a half.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: Did you tell them about cleaning tennis courts?
[00:17:14] Speaker A: I did not, actually. You know, and honestly, this is the first time I actually even mentioned that on a podcast. I've never even mentioned on my own
[00:17:20] Speaker B: podcast that would have impressed me.
[00:17:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I've never. I've never mentioned that to anybody. But that's. That's what we did. But, yeah, we talked about football for, like, an hour and a half. And then I left out there kind of confident because they didn't say I got the job or anything like that. They're like, we'll be in contact. You know, so usually when they say, we'll be in contact, you don't know if you're actually going to be in contact and so end up leaving there. And. And then, like, a day or so later, I got another call from a lady named Vicky, who was a branch manager at a location in Saratoga, California. She basically hired me on the spot, and that's kind of how I got in.
[00:17:51] Speaker B: And then while you were there, you were there two years?
[00:17:54] Speaker A: I was there two years, correct.
[00:17:56] Speaker B: And then you left. And what did you see there that you couldn't unsee?
[00:18:00] Speaker A: That people that were wealthy owned businesses. It made. It made so much sense when I was going through it. But growing up, I always thought, you know, if I want to be wealthy, I could work somewhere, make a bunch of money and, you know, be wealthy that way. But nah, I just. If you want to, if you want to be wealthy, you have to own a business. Kind of just made sense to me. And, and I don't think wealth is just based upon money. I think it's also time.
Because time is for me is my biggest asset. I can, you can always make more money, but you can't get your time back. So.
And I just started being introduced to people who really just made me understand more when it came to finances and business. And I'd see so many different people that were, you know, they'd either be property managers or they're real estate brokers or they own some type of tech company. I'm. Cause I'm in, you know, the tech capital of the world, Silicon Valley. So I just seen so many different things like, oh, it just kind of makes sense for me to go ahead and be a business owner. And then I read a book as well that, that was recommended to me. It's called Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I'm pretty sure you've heard of Rich Dad, Poor dad, right? But it wasn't the first Rich Dad, Poor Dad. And that book is awesome. The first one's awesome. But it was the second one called Rich Dad, Poor Dad. The cash flow quadrant. And in the cash flow quadrant talks about esbi.
E stands for employee change, your time for money. S stands for self employed.
You, you basically own a job at the end of the day, if you don't do it, you won't get paid. Basically as a self employed and then B, as a business owner, you have a business that has a system that regards to if you're there or not, you still make money. And then I stands for invest. You're here, money makes money for you. And I was just, you know, looking at the quadrant like, okay, if I want to be wealthy, it kind of makes sense for me to be on the right side, not the left side of it. So I need to be a B or an I. So that's kind of one of the main things I saw being at Jake Morgan. But here's another thing is that they were the wealthy individuals that were my clients were generous people. They wanted to help see me succeed or help see me when they.
You know, a lot of times the stereotypes that I've that while I was kind of heard and learned as I grew up was that, you know, in order for rich people to get where they're at, they had to be, you know, they had to do something wrong or they had to be a scumbag or whatever it may be. And that's not what I had encountered. That's not what I had seen. That's not what I had. You know, that was my experience. I noticed that a lot of these people were generous and they wanted to see the people win.
I've, I, I've yet to meet a person who's successful that doesn't want to see someone else become successful. Yeah, they truly believe if, if they can do it, someone else can do it as well.
[00:20:29] Speaker B: I was having a conversation with my daughter and my son yesterday. My daughter has a bit of a, like a, A limiting belief about money. She's like, oh. Cause she's like tainted by the whole Epstein thing and, and she's like, oh, you know, these people with these billionaires are so, they're so awful and they're so corrupt and, and money is just the source of all evil was what she was saying. And I said, well, Bella, if you, if you, if you inherited or if, if somebody gave you a billion dollars, what would you do with it right now? She's like, oh, I'd like open up homeless shelters for people. I would go save like tracks of land from development. I'm like, oh, so that doesn't sound like, like something bad, like if you were given a billion dollars, like, I don't see that as a source of evil. And I, I helped her see that it's not the money. Like if you give money to a guy who's awful, I mean, that person will use it for awful. But if you give money to somebody who's good, they're going to use it for good.
[00:21:21] Speaker A: I thousand percent agree. Money just enhances who you are. That's all it is. It just enhances who you are. If you were a good person before you had money, you'll be even better when you have it. If you were a bad person before you had money, you're going to be even worse with it. So it just enhances who you are. Is my experience the rock and stone for everything? Absolutely not. Like you mentioned, there are plenty of people out there that are doing wrong things with money, but I just think they're.
Their motives were bad before they even got it. And you know, that, that, that scripture gets misquoted so many times. They say money's the root of all evil. No, it's the love of money, which is the root of all evil. And basically what that's talking about in that scripture is making money your God. That's all you care about. That's all you want. You just want money because that means you'll go do anything for it. And that's. That's where the evil comes from in that portion of it.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: I love that our society kind of is conducive to. For people who might be weak to make money their God. Right?
[00:22:16] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, especially nowadays, there's so many different ways you can make money. That doesn't mean all money is good money. Like, I'm not. I'm not just doing anything to go get some money. Like, absolutely not. I have some morals and values and things like that. But people are willing to, like, you know, do whatever it takes to go ahead and make a dollar sometimes, unfortunately, yeah.
[00:22:36] Speaker B: You call yourself a hope dealer.
Where does that come from?
[00:22:41] Speaker A: So I grew up in a bad area. There were drug dealers per se, and a lot of people that I knew were drug dealers and things like that. And obviously drugs are. It's negative. You know, you're not helping anybody. You're. You're taking away people's hope. You're. A lot of people are in despair. They're relying on a substance or something to go and help them get some type of feeling that they believe is going to help them. And it. And for a lot of them, obviously, it's a temporary feeling, and you get high for a moment, then you're back down and you want to go ahead and re up and stuff like that.
So it's funny, I was actually just driving one day when I was getting ready to come out with the podcast, and I was just like, what's my introduction going to be?
And I just feel like the Lord just impressed my heart. Hope dealer. Give people hope. I want to go ahead and be the person that's giving out hope to people that they can. Where they're at currently, financially, it can be better for them in the future.
[00:23:32] Speaker B: That's beautiful. I love how you take time in your day to connect with God.
[00:23:37] Speaker A: Yes. That's. That's huge for me.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: Do you have a habit or is it like a trigger response kind of thing when you are like, oh, I gotta connect with him now, or does it just happen?
[00:23:47] Speaker A: It's nonstop.
Ooh, nonstop. I'm always connected to my father, but I give. I give glory to God in everything. I wake up, first thing I do is I thank the Lord.
And then I also. I have my time in the morning in which I go ahead and spend time. I read my Bible. I'm in my prayer.
I do that. That's just my. That's My daily routine, I have to do that. I have to be in my word.
And I read my Bible and I. I pray, but I'm constantly praying all the time. Like, I pray for. I pray over this meeting.
You know, I pray when I'm in the gym. I'm constantly, constantly, constantly praying.
I'm constantly praying for people. If I see. I might be driving, I see an ambulance, you know, driving by. I'm praying for whoever they're going to go see right now, whatever it may be. I'm constantly praying, and that's just. That's a part of my life just because I know where I could be.
And as much goodness God has done for me, for me not to give glory and praise would be foolish on my behalf because I've seen so many good things he's done for me in my life and. And also in the lives of others as well.
So I'm constantly praying and believing and in communication and, you know, trying to be obedient the best way I can.
[00:25:10] Speaker B: Yeah, well, you've. He's done a lot for you, but you've allowed him.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know if I had a choice, but, yeah, but yes, absolutely.
[00:25:18] Speaker B: You know that joke about the person. Like, the people who, like, during a flood, they're like, praying to God.
[00:25:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:24] Speaker B: And then the people come in the boats, like, why don't you come on the boat? They're like, no, no, we're waiting for God. We're praying to God. And then the flood gets worse and worse. And each time they come back to try to save these people. We keep saying, we're waiting for God. Finally, they die to go to the pearly gates. And they say, God, we were just waiting for you. He's like, I sent you, like, 10 boats.
[00:25:42] Speaker A: That is so true. And I truly believe, because obviously I'm not the only one in the world that'd be out here praying and believing and having faith and that is blessed and stuff like that.
But I truly believe that sometimes people forget how God works. Like, when he blesses somebody, he uses people to be blessings to others. And I just want to be a blessing to other people. And what I mean by that is, like, you know, let's say a person's. They're praying for.
For. I don't know, let's just say money or. So I say a person's praying for money. Like, God doesn't rain money out the sky, or he doesn't drop houses out the sky, or he doesn't go ahead and drop cars out the sky. If that's what a person is in need for. Because if he did, people would get hurt.
Right. What does he use? He uses people to be blessings to other people.
So a prayer of mine is, lord, use me to be a blessing to somebody else. I want to be a blessing to somebody else. And I know if I'm a blessing to somebody else, ultimately I'm going to be blessed as well. So that's just kind of my thought process. So I. I always want to add value to a person any way that I possibly can, just. Because if I can be a blessing to somebody, I just. I just know my cup is going to overflow.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: I love that. Tyler, that's so beautiful.
[00:26:46] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:26:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
You did an episode recently on the Vanderbilts and the Rockefellers.
There's one family lost it all.
One. One built a system that's still running.
What do you think was the real difference?
[00:27:02] Speaker A: One had a plan, one didn't. One understood what they're trying to do, where they're trying to go, and they educated their hairs on what to do next. And also, one had a team and one didn't. What I mean by that is the Vanderbilts didn't necessarily have a team like the Rockefellers did. The Rockefellers. And they're the ones who came up with the. What's called a family office. Are you familiar with the family office?
[00:27:25] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:27:25] Speaker A: Okay, cool. So, and for those who are listening that might not be familiar with the family office, it's, you know, you have a group of different professionals that come together that's just going to go ahead and work for one particular family and they might have multiple families or whatnot. But typically you might have. In your family office, you're going to have a cpa, basically a tax professional that's going to obviously, you know, help with the tax situation. You're going to have a lawyer as well. Typically, you're going to be dealing with the trust and the wills and things like that, and also helping when it comes to any business contracts. You have a lawyer in your staff. You're going to go ahead and have.
Someone's gonna be a business advisory person that's gonna help, you know, when it comes to advising with the business, and they might be the overseer of all the businesses overall. Then you're gonna go ahead and have a wealth management person. They're gonna be helping with your. Your stocks and bonds or whatever it might be that you're invested in, and you're gonna go ahead and have a risk mitigation person. This person has to be dealing with insurances and stuff like that. But what I find out is that most families, if you have these five or six different professionals, they're not communicating together.
So if they're not communicating together, this guy got a plan, this guy got a plan, or this lady has a plan. Everyone has different plans and, and different ideas, but it's not all coming together to go ahead and help benefit the family. So the Rockefeller is like, no, we need to come together. This is what we're trying to do. We're trying to make this be last for, you know, a hundred generations per se.
So they, they are the ones who came up with that structure of family office.
The Vanderbilts, they weren't thinking the same way as that. So when they, their kids inherited the wealth, you know, they went ahead and did different things with it. Instead. The Rockefellers had a, a legacy plan to make sure that, like, hey, we're going to go ahead and have trusts set up and in these trusts we're going to have different life insurance policies set up. And every time a person is born, we're going to go ahead and make sure they get X amount of dollars in life insurance on them so that when they do pass away, that's going to go ahead and replenish the trust. On top of that, within, inside of our trust, you can't just go in there and just take money from it. It has to be for some type of educational purposes or business purpose. You have to have plans to go ahead and put it back into there, whatever it may be. But they had a structure for that and the Vanderbilts did not. And because they didn't have a structure and because of that they ended up unfortunately losing a lot of that wealth. While now the current Rockefellers are richer than what they were when they first got the money.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: Well, not only did they have a structure, but they also had a very entrepreneurial business approach and they wanted their heirs to have that as well. I, I see a lot of people in my world who give trust funds to their kids, but they don't instill an entrepreneurial business mindset. It's almost like money is like something you don't talk about because it's dirty. And, and being a salesperson is like, you don't talk about that.
You know, you hire salespeople, you don't become a sales guy yourself. You know, that kind of thing, which I think is really bad for children because they don't ever learn to stand on their own two feet.
And they're, and they're, fearful, you know, they don't want to look bad, number one. Number two, they just don't think they can make it on their own.
[00:30:27] Speaker A: I agree for sure. I think, and I'll ask you this question. Would you ever give a machine gun to a baby?
[00:30:33] Speaker B: No.
[00:30:34] Speaker A: They're going to hurt themselves. Right? They're not trained to do that. They don't know what the heck to do. They're going to harm themselves. So when you give someone who's uneducated about money a bunch of it, what do they do?
They, they spend it. But they harm themselves too. Because a lot of times if they didn't have to go ahead and amass the wealth, what do they care if they spend it?
So, and that's what, ha. That's what happened with the, with Vanderbilts.
[00:30:58] Speaker B: You probably have a lot of guilt and shame for having inherited it. And then they need to medicate themselves to deal with the guilt and shame. And I, I think there was also the Rockefeller Sunup.
I think it was the family that they, they got into banking and they had each brother go, they, they start a bank in different places and, and then they were able to share their knowledge of each bank with the other siblings. So they could say, well, you know, this branch is doing we're having this problem. And then the other branch that said we're having this problem and they could sort of help each other solve each other's problems.
[00:31:32] Speaker A: Correct? Yeah. There. That family is very entrepreneur minded and, and they understand how the marketplace works. If you can solve a problem, you can make money.
So they're problem solvers for sure. And making sure they amass that wealth and still got it to this day. So which is a blessing for sure. That just means that they just, that that family passed down the right values when it came to money. They passed down knowledge and education when it comes to money and not spending habits. So.
And I think too what happened probably with that family as well is they're not, they weren't impressed by money. What I mean by that, what I, what I think is if a person is impressed by something, they're never going to have it. Meaning this. Let's say you walk into a $30 million home and you're like, oh my goodness, this is an amazing house.
Oh my, I'd love to have this one day. You're impressed by it. So that means in your head you don't think you could ever achieve it.
I think a lot of the, a lot of people in that family, they had already seen all the fancy Things in life that they're no longer impressed by it. So money was no longer something in which they're worried about having. They're probably more worried about adding value to the world.
[00:32:43] Speaker B: I love that. Adding value to the world. There's so many ways of doing that, too. I mean, you can do it through philanthropy.
[00:32:48] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
And it's funny because I believe in philanthropy. I believe in giving, things like that. It's always funny to me when a person's like, you know, when I get a bunch of money, I'm gonna start giving. I'm like, okay, are you currently giving now?
No, you're not. You're not gonna do nothing when you get more money? Because if you're not doing it with 10, what makes you think you're gonna do it with 10 million?
Like, it's just not. That's not how it works. You're not just gonna just turn on a switch. That's not how it works. So we're creatures of habits. So these habits, and that's what I teach a lot of, is I'm not worried about how much a person can save or invest right now. My job is to help you get the habits to which you start just doing it. Because once you have the habits in place, as you increase in your income, then you're going to go ahead and just go increase the amounts that you save or invest.
But so many people, they just think, oh, once I get this, I'm so like, no, you're not. That's just not how it works. We're just. We're creatures of habit. Like, I can't wake up one day. You're like, you know what?
I'm gonna go run 15 miles today, and I ain't ran a mile in two years. Like, it's just not gonna happen.
Like. But if we have that mindset, like, some of people that mindset that, you know, as soon as I get something, that it's just gonna start happening. No, it's not. You just have to. You have to set the habits at a. At a beginning stage.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: Well, there are a lot of people. I. I was. I was. I heard a statistic that there are. The people with the least amount of money are actually the biggest, biggest givers.
Not in terms of total dollar amount individually, but aggregate together. It's actually more than foundations. And I don't really know the exact number, but there. It's a significant number. You know, everybody gives emotionally to, let's say, you know, Doctors Without Borders or something like that. A hundred bucks here A hundred bucks there like times millions of people. That's a lot of money.
[00:34:35] Speaker A: Because for sure, because, uh, I'm just gonna say it because the people who own the foundations aren't necessarily. It be. They might be nonprofit, but that doesn't mean they're not making a profit.
So the people who own the foundations and stuff like that, which is sad. So that's why I just make sure I'm very particular about where I go ahead and donate. Because I'm not trying to donate to a cause just to get the CEO of that charity wealthy. I want to see how much of the, of the, let's just say if a dollar that I send to a, a foundation or a dollar that I send to a charity, how much does that actually get to the people?
Because a lot of, some of these, and I'm not going to mention anybody's, you know, company or anything like that, but some of these organizations, let's just say you give $10, right? How much of the $10 gets to the actual people? It might be $2 or maybe even a dollar. And everything else goes to, you know, admin, Admin this and admin that. Like, okay, like how much, you know, because what do we want to see? We want to see people actually get the help, get the actual help that they need. So when I see sometimes that these CEOs of different types of organizations are walked away with that year with 50, 60 million dollars, I'm like, whoa, why did, why didn't that get to. The people that you're talking about weren't supposed to be helping.
[00:35:56] Speaker B: So although it is a certain percentage of the total budget, so if you actually do the calculation, sometimes it's, it's kind of in, you know, if you, you know, you, you take Doctors Without Borders, for example. I, I think last I looked, I mean, I can't remember their budget, but it's in the hundreds of millions. So if their CEO is making a million bucks, I, I remember I, I looked at that and it, and it seemed to be okay, percentage wise.
[00:36:20] Speaker A: Some are good. Not gonna, I'm not saying this is for all of them because some of them are, are great and they get a lot of help to the actual people. Then there's some are like, all right, that's just a mass person to help. You know, say you're helping people, maybe you're not, but you know, that's just, that's my thoughts. But yeah, I believe there are a lot that are, but then there are some that aren't.
They're not doing what I think they should be doing.
[00:36:39] Speaker B: And to challenge you, I mean a lot of these non profits, they do have to, you know, do their 990s every year and they, and all that stuff is transparent. So if there is some self dealing, you'll see it like in their, in their reporting. Unless they're cheating, they're, they're lying on the books. But there's, there's some pretty strict laws by the irs. You're not allowed to, you're supposed to but enrich yourself, you know.
[00:37:01] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure, for sure.
[00:37:02] Speaker B: When a young person from a wealthy family walks in your door, what tells you immediately that no, nobody ever talked to them about money at home.
[00:37:09] Speaker A: When I find out about their spending habits, you show me your bank statement, I, I tell you about your life. Like you could see a lot, you could just see based upon, you know, what they're doing with their money. Are they spending it recklessly or are they actually saving it? So a lot of times I can, I can kind of tell upon that and then also how humble they are or they are not. Like some are extremely humble and some are arrogant. You know, that's that. And the good thing about what I do is I pick and choose who I work with. If I don't like you, I got to work with you.
[00:37:36] Speaker B: It's interesting that you say humility. Now I know like in the Bible, like Jesus, like was humble and that's sort of a model to strive for. But how does that, you know, in the United States, being humble is not really something people strive to be. I've noticed like humility in Europe is definitely more of a, of a value, like a common value. I wonder why I see it with like marketing. There's a lot of Europeans who just don't like the American way of marketing themselves.
[00:38:00] Speaker A: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Okay, so if you're talking about that, I think Americans, we like seeing the glitz and the glamour and the flashy. So, so in our marketing, I, I thousand percent agree with you. Like, yeah, it's, it's, it's a lot of over the top.
But that's how like, especially like, let's just say your person's on social media, they're trying to market a course or something. What are they going to do? They're going to be in front of a mansion with a Lamborghini or a Rolls Royce and look how much money I made and this and that and this person, probably they might have rented all that just for, just for the video. But, but as Americans we see that it's like, oh, I want that. And that's something that I want. I'm attracted to it. So now it's a marketing ploy for a lot of different people.
[00:38:43] Speaker B: Well, you give me an idea. It's like you gotta market the thing that they want. Like they want the Lamborghini, the car, maybe the loving marriage, right?
[00:38:51] Speaker A: Yeah. So it's what they're marketing typically is the lifestyle. Right? What's the lifestyle?
[00:38:55] Speaker B: You talk about the difference between liabilities and income producing assets.
Do you find that wealthy kids actually know the difference or, or is. Did abundance make them blind to it?
[00:39:05] Speaker A: I think abundance might, might have made a lot of them blind to it.
Not all of them, because a lot are a lot understand. And they're taught, you know, that, that aspect of hey, if I'm gonna buy something, why would I buy a liability? I'd much rather buy an asset or an income producing asset. So I think a lot of times what need it needs to be taught in the household first. If it's taught in the household around the parents and understanding, like, hey, yes, you come from money, but this is my money.
Let me teach you and show you how to make your own.
I think that'll benefit a lot of them.
[00:39:41] Speaker B: So how, how, if a parent's listening to us right now, like if they've never talked to their kids about money, where do they start?
[00:39:46] Speaker A: I got a free course.
[00:39:48] Speaker B: Nice.
Where can they find it?
[00:39:51] Speaker A: They can find on my website, they can go to moneymasternation.com and get access called.
It's actually Money Master University and it's a free course.
[00:40:02] Speaker B: That's so cool.
[00:40:03] Speaker A: Free course. Free course about money. Teaching how to budget, Teaching how to go ahead and get out of debt, Teaching how to go ahead and bought investments. Teaching how to put your kids through college, like all, all kinds of stuff right there on the website.
[00:40:13] Speaker B: It's a huge value. For free. My God, for free.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: I get it for free. I probably spent 50, 60 hours putting together this course, so.
And all I gotta do is go click on it and take it for free.
Materials and everything in there. There's all kinds of PDFs to help you and me talk you through it and how to have a game plan and also how to help. You know, it talks about, you know, doing finances a couple as well. So it's, it's, it's a free resource that people can have access to.
[00:40:42] Speaker B: That's so cool.
[00:40:43] Speaker A: But if they don't want to listen to me, that's fine. There's so many for resources out there, I think just starting to talk, just having the conversation about it.
Having the conversation about finances, opening it up, starting teaching them, you know, simple things, understanding, like things like the rule of 72 or how your money grows or how your money can get taxed and even understand what taxes are.
So things like that, understand that money can really. There's only three ways money can do. It can either go up, it can go down, or it can stay the same. Of those three ways, which one would you want to get rid of? So, you know, just having those conversations in which. But if the parents don't know, then they can't pass it on to their kids either. So you gotta. Someone gotta get educated in there somewhere.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: I think a lot of parents are afraid.
[00:41:25] Speaker A: A lot of things we fear don't even happen to us.
So if they can get out that fear and start conquering things, I think that'd be a lot better for em.
[00:41:33] Speaker B: You've talked about building trust structures where heirs have access, have to earn access, like they have to graduate college or run a business or contribute. You know, how do you have that conversation with a family that's never talked about money at all?
[00:41:46] Speaker A: That's a very good question. And you've been doing your homework. Gosh, I love that.
[00:41:49] Speaker B: I love your podcast. It's so good.
[00:41:51] Speaker A: Thank you, thank you so much. Yes. So the conversation gonna have to be like, okay, what kind of, where do you want your children to be when you're no longer here?
Do you want to just give them a bunch of money with no restrictions? They can go do whatever the heck they want and you're okay with it because you trust their decision making or your children, do they need structure? Do they need guidance? Do you want them to become a better person with the money, they're going to let us know. You know, I want, I want the second option. I want to become a better person. I don't want to just give them a bunch of money and they squander it off and, you know, I've hurt them and stuff like that. So. Okay, so you can put stipulations within your trust and within your will as well. So you should have both. You should have a trust and a will. A trust is what holds the money.
Okay? A will is just instructions. That's all that is. So within the trust you have a will and there can be instructions about the money that's inside the trust with the will. And it can go ahead and be things like, hey, let's say you're Leaving your kids. I'm just going to throw a number out there, $10 million. Okay. You're not going to touch a single dime until, you know, let's just say you go ahead and graduate with a master's degree.
Okay. You go ahead and we can document that you have, you know, your first, I don't know, let's just say 50,000 saved on your own. You could go ahead and put stipulations in there which, hey, you can only have access to this trust in which you're going to go ahead and use it to start a business.
You have to make sure like, hey, you're going to go ahead. In order to have access to this trust, you need to go ahead and make sure that you have X amount of life insurance on yourself and the trust is also the beneficiary. Right. So that now is getting replenished as well.
Because the whole point is to make this last for generations. We don't want to. The whole point of generational wealth is for it to be generational. Right, Right. And it can't be generational if it stops with one generation.
So, yeah, you can go ahead and put these different stipulations upon it to make sure that, hey, it's going to benefit the children, not them just inheriting money in their trust fund baby. They're just accepting, paying each month and stuff like that.
[00:43:58] Speaker B: A lot of parents don't want to see their kids suffer, so they, they don't push them, you know, to let them fail.
[00:44:05] Speaker A: Correct. This is true. And then, then also understanding and having this conversation before it even gets to the point of them pass away, how do, how do we make sure that this trust doesn't end? And how do we make sure. What are the proper, you know, products and services that go into this trust to make sure that, hey, that all. Obviously you're going ahead and have an inheritance, but how do we make sure this goes off to your kids and then their kids and their kids. Kids and things like that. And so making sure that they understand that.
[00:44:33] Speaker B: Although I think dynasty trusts aren't really allowed anymore, but you can kind of fold them into another.
[00:44:39] Speaker A: Yeah, there's, there's all different ways around it.
[00:44:41] Speaker B: What do you think is a responsible
[00:44:42] Speaker A: handoff from generation to generation?
[00:44:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Or from one generation to the next.
[00:44:47] Speaker A: I think it's not just about money. I think it's about the values that you've instilled in your children.
I think if the whole focus is only money, then we've failed as parents.
I think we need to be teaching values and leadership and understanding responsibilities and being a better person.
I'm big on what called my five Fs faith, family, fitness, finances and fun.
And yes, those are my five.
And I, I focus on getting better in all those aspects every single day. If I can get 1% better in all those aspects every single day, in a hundred days, I'll be 100% better.
So I think we need to go ahead and pass on those values, whatever they may be, for your family to make sure that those are things that you're going to have a legacy about. Now obviously money's included in all that, which is cool, but they have the proper values and the proper understanding, the proper morals and they understand how to treat people and how to be, you know, that type of person, maybe a man or woman of faith, whatever it may be. I think those are, those are great things to pass on because that can, you know, constantly continue to being passed on as well.
[00:45:58] Speaker B: And you've come from nothing and you built something which is really so impressive. And my listeners came from something and are trying to figure out what to do with it.
What do you want them to walk away with?
[00:46:11] Speaker A: So what I find out is this is most people know how to make money and everyone knows how to keep it.
So what are you doing to keep it? What are you doing to make sure that we're going to have a legacy? What are you doing to make sure that this money does pass on to the next several generations? Or what are we doing to make sure that, you know, you pass on the right morals and values? Have you talked to somebody about this already? If not, you probably need to.
I think that's, that's what they need to start walking away with. Let's, let's make sure that, hey, we've amassed this wealth. How do we keep it? That's one of the main things, I think a lot going on to make money. Unfortunately, everyone knows how to keep it. So let's talk about the ways to make sure that we keep it. Because like I mentioned, money goes up or it can go down or can stay the exact same. If you're going to get rid of one of those ways, which would it be?
Probably the down, right? But most people, most people understand this is that their advisor makes money when it goes up, down or stays the same.
Right? There are some advisors out there that only make money when it goes up or stays the same.
So, and that's, that's that. So you just gotta talk to the
[00:47:12] Speaker B: right people and you, and you know, Those people just a little bit.
[00:47:15] Speaker A: You know, I might.
I might. I might know a guy or two. Right.
[00:47:21] Speaker B: It's good that people know, you know, what you offer.
[00:47:24] Speaker A: I mean, absolutely.
[00:47:25] Speaker B: Pretty cool. I mean, you're.
Wow, this is so cool. And it's just. There's a lot of people who don't know what their values are.
Do you help them with that process or do you point them to people?
[00:47:38] Speaker A: No, I do. I actually have a. I have a coaching program on my phone.
[00:47:41] Speaker B: Really?
[00:47:42] Speaker A: Yeah, on the five Fs. I have a whole coaching program where I teach people and help them get better in all those aspects, like your faith, family, fitness, finances, and fun. Like, I'm big on all five. I just truly believe, like. Okay, so one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Proverbs 10:22. It says, the blessing of the Lord makes one rich, and he adds no sorrow with it. And that word rich doesn't just talk about money. That means wholeness. Wholeness in all aspects of your life. I don't want you to be wealthy, but then you have broken relationships. I don't want you to be wealthy, but then your body is sick. You know, I don't want you to be wealthy, but you, you know, you can't even have a conversation with your kids. Right? Or, I don't want you to be wealthy, but you can't even go ahead. You don't know how to have fun anymore. All you've been doing for the last 20 years is working, working, working. You amass wealth, but you can't even enjoy it.
So I have a whole coaching program on the five Fs to help a person to make sure that they get better in those different aspects of their life. Because it's not just about having money. It's about being whole in your life. So. And then there are some people who might have these other areas. They might have a great faith life, but they don't necessarily understand how to go ahead and keep their money. Right. Or you might, you know, you might be having too much fun. You don't know how to go ahead and keep your relationship. So I want a person to become whole in all aspects. I have a coaching program on that.
[00:49:02] Speaker B: So what if they have other values that are not part of your five
[00:49:06] Speaker A: Fs, and that's fine. They don't have to.
They don't have to have my same values. But the question is, do you have any?
[00:49:14] Speaker B: Do that.
[00:49:15] Speaker A: All right. What do you stand for? Because if you stand for nothing, you don't stand for anything. At all. Right? So I have to make sure that. What do you stand for? I'm going off of what I stand for and what I believe.
And a lot of it can be universal for a lot of different people. Because those five things, I know a lot of us want to go ahead and strive and achieve and do great in, but if those are not your five, that's totally fine.
And the reason I picked those five or I have those five, because I believe if you have those five in order, it leads to the six F, which is freedom.
That's all what we want. We all just want freedom. Freedom of time, freedom of money, freedom of worries, period. And I have all. If I have all those 5s in order, what am I stressed about? What am I worried about? The number one cause for sickness is stress, right? And most people stress over one of those five areas that I just mentioned. Right? And that's. That's what I want to do, is help. Just help people get better. That's what I want to do, help people get better.
[00:50:10] Speaker B: Thank you so much, Tyler.
Again, where can they find you on the World Wide Web?
[00:50:16] Speaker A: I'm on Instagram. Moneymaster 408. I'm on Instagram, same as on TikTok. Moneymaster 400 on TikTok. I'm on LinkedIn. Tyler Osborne as well. Then they also go to my website, moneymasternation.com and then we have you get logged there and get access to me. And then, like as you mentioned earlier, we have the podcast. And the podcast is anywhere you can find a podcast. Apple, Amazon, Music, Spotify, all those, you know, all the places podcasts are at. You know what I mean?
[00:50:45] Speaker B: So, so cool. Well, thanks so much, Tyler. Let's stay in touch.
[00:50:49] Speaker A: We will. I'm gonna have to have you on my podcast. Like I said, that's how I work. Right. I'm on yours. You can come on mine, you know.
[00:50:54] Speaker B: All right.
If this episode landed for you, share it with someone who might need to hear it. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you don't miss what's coming. But here's the real thing. I want you to know if you're carrying something you can't talk about, if you have every resource except someone who actually understands what wealth costs. I work one on one with people like you navigating exactly that. You can reach me@diana oehrli.com. thanks for listening.
