Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] What the Rockefellers knew about raising strong kids.
[00:00:08] Last week I was in the Adirondacks for a board meeting in North Country School, a boarding school for grades four through nine. At this 88 year old institution and its sister program, Camp Treetops, children muck stalls, hike mountains and do real chores before breakfast.
[00:00:24] No uniforms, no performative Polish.
[00:00:27] Abutting a state forest preserve, its 312 acre campus is a working farm with vegetable and flower beds, a chorus of barn animals and the rare sound of kids who know how to entertain themselves without screens.
[00:00:40] There's an award winning maple sugar operation, a six trail ski hill, a rock climbing crag with 36 routes, two riding rings and over three miles of hiking trails. It's also a place where sugar is the ultimate contraband. No candy, no soda, no sweets. Except for rare celebrations, the biggest rule you can break isn't about curfew or grades. It's sneaking his snickers onto campus.
[00:01:04] Funny thing is, when getting caught with candy is your worst fear, you don't even think about alcohol or drugs.
[00:01:11] It's the kind of place that feels almost subversive. Today, when I heard the students talk about what they wanted out of life, what they loved about the school and what it was like living without cell phones and social media, I was awed.
[00:01:25] I want to be a leader without abusing power, one student said.
[00:01:29] I want to stay outdoor oriented, another added. I love the horses, the sheep, the chickens and pigs. When I go home, I'm the only one who comes up with ideas on how to have fun. I watch my friends spend hours scrolling.
[00:01:43] I remember that feeling coming home from camp and being the weird kid who wanted to climb trees instead of playing video games.
[00:01:51] The board meeting dragged on for hours, but somewhere between watching a fourth grade writing class and the trustee orientation, I fell in love with humanity again.
[00:02:02] The kids were rugged, creative and radiant in that way that comes from being trusted with responsibility.
[00:02:08] They weren't performing for adults.
[00:02:10] As I watched them, I understood something about my own upbringing and why this place feels like home.
[00:02:17] Suddenly, I was 13 again, crying on the last day of camp.
[00:02:22] Seven weeks wasn't enough.
[00:02:25] My mother went to the school. So did one of my brothers. I got the camp, and still it shaped me. Years later, I watched my own son go through the same transformation at camp. His heart was open. He could be himself. Within 24 hours of coming home, I watched him start to close up again.
[00:02:44] North Country School and Camp Treetops were founded with the support of families like the Rockefellers, who wanted their children to know how to live.
[00:02:52] I spent summers there barefoot, singing folk songs after every meal. The food tasted incredible. Maybe because there was no sugar.
[00:03:01] Today I'm convinced that we shield our kids from discomfort but drown them in sugar. North country and camp treetops do the opposite. Those early families didn't send their children here to perfect their resumes. They sent them to muck stalls, weed salad beds, build fires, wash dishes, and climb trees. Even a century ago, they sensed the danger of coddling the shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves proverb wasn't just folklore, it was a warning.
[00:03:29] Privilege without purpose creates weakness and decline. That's what I saw so clearly in the Adirondacks.
[00:03:36] An antidote.
[00:03:38] Those early families entrusted their children to Walter and Leonora or Leo Clark, who founded the school in 1938 guided by the educational philosophies of John Dewey and the Progressive education movement, championing child centered learning and learning. By doing this, pragmatism combined with values such as community, character, hard work, perseverance, curiosity and environmental stewardship sit at the heart of the mission. It's about becoming a whole person, resilient, confident with the knowledge, skills and values to lead fulfilling and productive lives while contributing to a more sustainable world.
[00:04:18] One alumnus told us he'd hated school before north country, but here, learning meant doing. Feeding chickens, herding sheep, hiking the Adirondack Peaks. By the time he graduated, he loved learning again and went on to study at one of the top universities in the country.
[00:04:35] I left the Adirondacks with a renewed sense of clarity. Not just about education, but about why I give. It's easy to get swept up in prestige, giving glossy galas, naming rights, the endless initiatives that look good in annual reports but do little to change lives.
[00:04:53] What moved me about North Country School was its quiet defiance.
[00:04:58] It isn't trying to impress anyone. It's trying to raise resilient humans. That's the kind of philanthropy I like.
[00:05:05] True privilege isn't about insulation.
[00:05:07] It's about exposure to the elements, to imperfection, to real life.
[00:05:14] This trip also reminded me why I started writing the pressures of privilege.
[00:05:19] The pressures don't just come from outside. They come from within.
[00:05:23] We've become too fixated on constant comparison. We've lost our grounding. Wealth, success and comfort can distance us from what makes life meaningful.
[00:05:33] Community, ruggedness, labor, simplicity, nature, art.
[00:05:39] So we create substitutes. Retreats, mindfulness apps, curated experiences. We're trying to recreate what used to be free.
[00:05:48] But what the early families knew, what the founders of North Country School knew, is that strength comes from doing hard things together from chopping wood, carrying water, feeding animals and tending a garden. And from living with nature, not apart from it. It's not the money that corrupts us. It's the insulation. The coddling As I left campus, the mist rose above the fields and it struck me that this is what every generation of parents hopes for their children to be capable, connected and content.
[00:06:20] And yet, in our polished adult lives, we forget those lessons. We chase comfort, glamour, and call it success.
[00:06:27] We measure worth and image, not contribution.
[00:06:31] The irony is that the antidote to the pressure of privilege isn't more exclusivity or convenience. It's in community and hard work in nature.
[00:06:40] Maybe that's what my philanthropy is about.
[00:06:43] Protecting the conditions that make wholeness possible and supporting places where people still chop wood, carry water, and live in harmony with the world around them. And maybe that's what the Rockefellers knew all along.
[00:06:55] Real strength comes from real work.
[00:07:01] If this episode landed for you, share it with someone who might need to hear it. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you don't miss miss what's coming. But here's the real thing. I want you to know if you're carrying something you can't talk about, if you have every resource except someone who actually understands what wealth costs. I work one on one with people like you navigating exactly that. You can reach me@diana oehrli.com thanks for listening.
